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Our threat perception is unconscious, so is our response.

Accepting people as they are is complex and nuanced. They did the best they could from the level of consciousness they were at then. It’s easy to say statements like these and like all cliche’s, they hold some truth.

“When we know better, we do better.” Maya Angelou

So much…

We’re just not aware of how vulnerable human beings are.

Dr. Gabor Maté

“We’re just not aware of how vulnerable human beings are, and then what our needs actually are. I would say that’s the biggest lack.

We don’t live in a trauma informed society. The educational system is not trauma-informed, the legal system is like a black hole when it comes to…

Feeling safe enough to take the risks of living

“Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe enough to fall in love with life and take the risks of living.” Deb Dana

We’ve been through a lot this last two years and much of it was unwelcome and scary. There has been overwhelming uncertainty, grief and fear. We are…

I know you’re not mad at me but…

We enjoy being with people who are calm and relaxed, interested in engaging with us, and are fun to be around. When we’re in fight/ flight/ freeze, we just aren’t that much fun to be with. We long for connection but when we don’t feel safe enough to relax, that…

It’s natural to worry about our health.

I began experiencing sudden severe cramping in my abdomen. Within a few minutes, my Saturday went from a relaxed day off to … what exactly? I felt nauseous. It seemed like maybe it was the flu. I had been in town the day before and maybe I caught something.

A…

I draw on these strengths

The Dinjii Zhuh (Gwich’in) philosophies describe 3 kinds of strength: ancestral, personal and collective/communal. Dr Crystal Fraser called on all three while writing her PhD thesis on Indian Residential Schools in northern Canada. “Every time I sat down in my chair to write, I had to draw on these strengths.”

Many of us feel depleted and emotionally under nourished.

Hurry up! You can rest when you’re dead. Don’t be a lazybones! Times up. Make hay when the sun shines. Time is money. What have you been up to lately? What’s new? We live in a culture obsessed with time and being productive.

When we feel stressed and exhausted, it…

“Safety is an absence of threat plus a feeling of connection.”

Dr. Stephen Porges

Our nervous system prioritizes our physical safety over connection and routinely hijacks us. We want to feel close to someone yet we are afraid to trust. Our perception of safety and threat is unconscious. Our primitive brain is constantly on the look out for danger and bases its predictions on…

We are being asked to step up in a big way.

Humans have a higher level cognitive mind and an immense capacity and need for empathy and connection. We also have the primitive brain survival system that developed during hunter/gatherer days when we lived in small groups and competed with other groups for scarce resources.

We want to feel included and…

The reality of life is hard and the reality of life is joy.

Thirty years ago today my dad died suddenly after hernia surgery. He was 67, a year younger than I am now. I was 38 and working at AIDS Calgary. My son was in first year music at university. What Dad has missed in this thirty years! I didn’t know him…

Lynn Fraser Stillpoint

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