How would I know I deserve protection if I wasn’t protected? How would I know I need to protect my children from emotional hurt if I wasn’t protected as a child? Does my body know I can count on protection from parents and teachers if they have not protected me…

Emotional courage refers to the ability to face and manage one’s emotions, especially in difficult or challenging situations, with resilience and authenticity. We have all experienced feeling and acting with courage We have all experienced backing down or being disappointed in ourselves What gets in the way of being more consistently courageous? Neuroception: past experience leads us to believe we…

“Courage is to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Brené Brown I can take the risk to fully know myself and let myself be known by others, to live with vulnerability and authenticity, and to speak up and “tell all of my heart”. What is your response to…

There are many reasons why we are drawn to this work of healing trauma. It often starts with wanting to ease suffering. Life could be less stressful and we want to enjoy more peace and stability. We live in cultures that are aggressive and challenging, leading many people to feel…

Let’s look at some of the factors that influence the level of vigilance in our relationships. We trust them and they are reliably (not perfectly) well-regulated. We don’t feel dread when we think about them or prepare to see them. It feels safe enough to be ourselves with an expectation…

We learn to read our parents because our survival depends on it. We all need to know we are part of a family and community that will help to protect us and keep us safe. Children are vulnerable and experience emotional misattunement as a survival level threat. If we are…

In a healthy relationship, both people act like adults. They take equal responsibility for their emotional reactions, and talk things out rather than acting things out. The reality of both individuals is equally honored. It is a form of emotional abuse to not validate another person’s perception. The extreme form…

Looking at our culture, it is easy to see the layers of complexity and experience that make it difficult for us to have a warm-hearted connected relationship with ourselves. We have done some things well, like developing technology. We are not doing so well with our individual and communal mental…

When we are in a survival response of fight/ flight/ freeze/ fawn, we lose our agency. We need to clearly see, feel, and be able to admit to ourselves that we are being diminished and can address it. Somatic mindfulness inquiry, and planning ahead for what we might face, support…