Belonging in Community

Safety comes first.

What are the conditions to feel like we belong to ourselves, with each other, and in broader community? Safety comes first. We cannot be in a state of trust and connect when we are activated in fight/ flight/ freeze.

Our brain gathers data through our senses, associates it with past learning, and makes an unconscious perception of threat. The advantage is that we react quickly to avoid danger. It activates fight/flight/freeze survival responses and overrides our higher level brain functioning. This was helpful for tigers lurking in the bushes. In modern life, there are many downsides to this system.

Our brain is evidence based and our primitive brain has a negativity bias. How much of the threat we perceive in this moment is due to conditioning and past history? Our threat perception in the past was seen and experienced through conditioning. We are vulnerable to stereotypes, fear of people “not like us”, and the “better safe than sorry” motto of the primitive brain. This evidence we have been collecting throughout our life is highly influenced by societal conditioning, beliefs, and experiences. We remember the people with whom we felt safe. We remember when we were hurt. When we don’t have direct experience, we revert to conditioning and stereotypes.