Committing to My Body

“She’s stuck in her head.”

My drive for emotional safety overpowered care for my body.

We have many words to describe the very common dissociation of ourselves from our bodies. “She’s stuck in her head.” “I live from the neck up.” We feel like we are at war with the drives and compulsions in our body. We numb out and act out.

These are trauma responses. The result of traumatic experiences (including emotional neglect) is that we disconnect from ourselves, our sense of value and from the present moment. When we are overwhelmed and feel powerless, we do our best to escape.

We disconnect because it is too painful to stay.

We daydream and live in a world of fantasy of “some day”. We escape into video games, the world online and into the second-hand emotional connection of books, shows and movies. Alcohol and other drugs do it for us. Until they don’t. Gambling. Sex and porn addiction. Or the more socially approved escape hatch of overwork or shoe shopping. This becomes our normal way to experience life.

Unresolved trauma is stored in the tissues of the body and it takes a lot to keep it repressed. Many of us know from direct experience the sweet freedom of attending to the feelings, energy and sensations in our bodies. The need to escape dissolves as we connect…