Connection With Reality

We are inspired to know our truth. We discover we are worth knowing.

Dr Gabor Maté speaks about the effect of traumatic experiences as being disconnecting. Nurturing authentic connection with ourselves is thrilling, painful and raw. It is the aliveness we long for and it is a bold move.

What does disconnection look like in our ordinary everyday life? Our past experience leads us to predict that the present moment is likely to be painful and overwhelming. We respond to potential threats with our survival responses of fight/ flight/ freeze/ fawn.

Have you ever been introduced to someone and literally ten seconds later you don’t remember their name? I have. Sometimes it’s a one-off because we’re nervous or distracted. When it is more pervasive, we can see we have a habit of disconnection. Past trauma has led to a semi-permanent state of being checked out and not really paying attention.

Disconnection can also be a result of hypervigilance, where we’re too busy scanning the room for danger to really be present to other people as a potential source of enjoyment and connection. Many people have been more hurt by other people than loved and nourished. Our walls make sense.

When we’re not really here in the present moment, we don’t remember our life. Our brain…