Forgiving My Nervous System

I startle so easily over nothing.

Take a few deep breaths and relax your whole body from head to toes. Look at these sentences and notice your response.

Someone came up behind me and I jumped a foot. I am frustrated that I startle so easily over nothing.

I was enjoying a visit with a friend, but the music in the coffee shop made it hard to hear. After I’d been there awhile, I felt like the noise was assaulting me. Whoa! Over the top response. What is the matter with me that I get enraged by loud noise?

At work there is a guy who looks at me like I’m pond scum. I know in my head that it shouldn’t matter what he thinks of me but when we’re in a meeting together, I feel awkward and my voice isn’t steady when I am called on to speak. Am I twelve? I shouldn’t feel this way.

I feel better when I get to bed by 10 yet I watch myself avoiding it. I decide to watch 1 more episode on Netflix (that turns into 3), I get caught up in YouTube videos, Facebook or I can’t turn off the news. It’s midnight when I drag myself to bed, exhausted and mad I have sabotaged myself. Again!

What do all of these have in common? They are all nervous system responses with a dose of shaming thrown on top.