I’m Not Bad? But the evidence …

We develop beliefs based on experience. If our primary experience in childhood is that we are loved and cared for, that we are part of a family unit we feel safe in, that we are not bullied, neglected or abused, our brain and nervous system develop based on that experience.

Many children do not have that life. Many children have an experience of neglect, abuse, not being safe, and of being harmed. In a child’s world, it is a survival level threat for them to question or blame their parents for what is happening. We turn the criticism inward. We need to keep that connection with our caregivers, even if it is not very safe or reliable.

Core deficiency beliefs are formed based on the experiences we have. Repeated experiences of feeling unlovable, unworthy, stupid or not good enough, lead us to form a belief that we are that. We are unlovable. We are stupid. We are not good enough. These inaccurate beliefs come along with words, pictures, and memories. They are connected with energy and sensation in the body.

Do this practice to see your core beliefs and to loosen up the Velcro between thoughts and the energy in your body. Dr Gabor Maté talks about trauma being a disconnection from ourselves, from our essence. That can happen because of tsunamis, wars or abuse, and it can also happen through neglect or just not being seen.