Minimizing and Dismissing Trauma

I didn’t have it so bad, I’m just self centered

Others have it worse so quit pitying yourself

What about all of the people who are suffering more than I am?

Why do we minimize our own trauma?

When we expressed our genuine distress and fear, we were dismissed by parents and others leaving us feeling like we were the problem.

Despair: if it’s really that bad, if I have been that hurt, how can I ever heal?

We turned against ourselves to increase connection with parents.

We admire toughness, people who “pull themselves up by their bootstraps”.

We (and others) are uncomfortable being with our feelings so we go into fight or flight.

We compare and see our trauma as less than other people’s

They’ve been through so much, I don’t want to add my insignificant troubles onto their shoulders.

When we know someone has experienced a lot of trauma, we might not want to trouble them with ours.

Our troubles are legitimate too. Someone who has been through a lot could have a great capacity to be present with us and listen with empathy. They might also have strength and…