Running Out of Chances

I’m not going to marry Paul McCartney.

We don’t get unlimited chances in life. I’m not going to marry Paul McCartney like the Ouija board promised when I was eleven. We don’t get to go back in time to open our hearts and tell that person what they meant to us before they died. We can apologize but those harsh words that flew out of our mouth are in the air and we can’t take them back. It happened.

If now is not the right time to let down our protective barriers, then when? We long for connection yet something holds us back. We inquire and we practice being open hearted and kind to ourselves and others. This works and it takes time. Meanwhile, everything we say and every missed opportunity becomes part of the mesh of our life and relationships.

Some people give us another chance and another and another. They see the pain behind our protective barriers and know our lashing out isn’t personal. Yet everyone reaches a limit. It is painful to feel the sting of someone’s contempt even when we empathize with them. It is not our responsibility nor is it possible for us to heal the pain of another person’s life. That is for each of us to work with. To take responsibility for. To take the consequences.

We need to be willing to set healthy boundaries with people. In part this is a natural outcome of our internal…