Sexual Accelerators and Brakes
“We have the same parts, organized in different ways. Everybody’s biology is the same until six weeks into gestation, when the universal genital hardware begins to organize itself into either the female configuration or the male configuration.” Dr Emily Nagoski
Link to YouTube class and inquiry
One fascinating area of sexual health research is on arousal (sexual accelerator) and brakes (how we shut it down). It makes intuitive sense that if we’re tired, stressed, or have an uncomfortable relationship with our body, we won’t feel as free to enjoy sexual pleasure.
Our brains scan the environment and our own thoughts for sexually relevant stimuli. Some people have a sensitive accelerator. They notice and associate more stimuli as sexually relevant. Like neuroception (our perception of threat and safety) the response of our sexual gas pedal happens in the unconscious. We are not aware consciously that we are being stimulated.
When people have trouble experiencing sexual pleasure, it is often because they have sensitive brakes. These are the neurological “off” signals. One part of the brain notices potential threats, like their children who might interrupt or a partner you don’t trust. Another part of the brake system worries about potential failure, like not being able to achieve an orgasm, or please their partner.
A highly sensitive gas pedal and low brakes can lead to compulsive behavior and feeling out of control, taking more risks and having more partners. Someone with low sensitivity to stimuli and highly sensitive brakes, will take a lot of time and effort to “tune in” to sex.
Knowing what puts on our brakes is a good place to start. Try this Sexual Temperament Questionnaire.
Dr Emily Nagoski is a sex educator who offers resources and several worksheets on her website EmilyNagoski.com.
Link to YouTube class and inquiry
We’re exploring sexual health during April so stay tuned for more.
Participate in our community class Sundays 10AM Eastern for inquiry and sharing. Click here for link.
Join me Saturdays at 3PM for a guided reflection on Insight Timer Live.
