Speaking Truth to Bullshit

In Brene Brown’s extraordinary book Braving the Wilderness, she has a chapter called “Speak truth to bullshit. Be civil.” She speaks about truth in our interactions with other people and points to what is happening inside. Shame can be triggered and take over. I like to look at this dynamic when we take it back a step. This principle also applies to our relationship with ourselves. Shaming shuts us down. Silence has a price in integrity.

Speaking truth is complicated in part because of our defense mechanism of denial. We vigorously suppress what we cannot afford to see. This is driven by our primitive brain and fear. We have beliefs about our own unworthiness. Having our parents ignore or hurt us is devastating to a child. The human need for connection is intensely strong, because ostracizing or shunning means death.

As we heal, we begin to see the high cost of social isolation and the dysfunction in some of our relationships. We begin to see truth. We have more clarity. And taking a deep breath, we stand our ground and begin to speak the truth.

This is where it gets interesting! We will rarely be met with someone who is open to hearing our truth, and be willing to see clearly, especially if it would appear to threaten their own security or interests. The long game for everyone is a culture and society where we are all heard and protected and…