Support Your Young Nervous System

Our more grounded adult self can co-regulate directly with our younger nervous system.

To develop a strong resilient nervous system, children need to be around adults who are grounded and well-regulated. Babies need to co-regulate in order to develop neural networks for trust and connection. Attachment parenting emphasizes empathy and responsiveness to the child, as well as bodily closeness and skin-to-skin touch with babies. Children who are consistently cared for develop secure attachment and naturally look to other people for connection and support.

What if your parents were struggling and not well-regulated themselves? Gabor Maté was born in Hungary around the time of the Nazi invasion and his mother had to send him away for a time to keep him safe. I was born 15 months after my older sister and my mom was exhausted having two babies in diapers. What of children born into violent homes or to addicted parents? Then there are the many children whose parents were told by doctors to let their babies cry it out so as not to spoil them. Our culture is kind of a mess when it comes to secure attachment.

The stress of modern life and isolation of parents deprived of extended family support plays havoc with our nervous system and mental health. We see the impact of our dysregulated…