Why Does Healing Take So Long?!

Something happens and we feel like we’re back to square one.

We know we are different now. We’re not as reactive. We have tools to self-regulate and we remember to use them. We recognize when we’re in survival responses of fight/ flight/ freeze/ fawn. We don’t go as deep into the trough and we “come back” sooner.

Our body is more relaxed as we move through our day. Our minds are not as compulsive. We don’t worry as much or we catch it sooner and are able to stop. Our inner critic doesn’t have the grip it used to. We no longer believe that we’re bad or unlovable. We are more often aware of our present moment experience and reactivity. It’s relatively easy to come back to our breath, look around the room for cues of safety, reach out to a friend, or hold our own hand for support and comfort.

We connect the dots as we get to know ourselves. The sinking feeling in our gut is connected with “that look” on someone’s face. When we are around certain people, we clench our teeth or tighten our shoulders. We are aware of how vulnerable we are when we feel excluded because we had no reliable relationships in childhood. We learn to connect with our younger selves. It becomes safer to stay aware and present. We become trauma informed and understand deeply that our childhood experiences were not our fault. We…